Making friends in a foreign country

After much thought and soul searching, you’ve finally made the move to foreign shores and now you find your emotions hover between extremes. You’re excited, a whole new chapter in your life has opened up but you’re anxious too. You’ve left your comfort zone and there is so much to learn about your new home, and maybe most painful of all, you’ve had to bid farewell to friends and family.

Humans are sociable creatures and you wouldn’t be unique in wanting to meet new friends and to broaden your social horizons. Within the ranks of the expat community there’ll be fellow English speakers, people with whom you’ll have interests in common but you’re an adventurous spirit, making the move is testament to that. So why limit yourself to the familiar? Given the number of different nationalities out there, you have the opportunity to meet new friends amongst the wider expat community, and of course don’t forget your hosts, the local people.

Some tips on how to make friends in a new country

Friends of friends:
Make the most of contacts. If you’ve been given the name of a mutual friend living in your adopted country, reach out and make contact. Through tenuous acquaintances the best friends can be found, you may click with them or others in their circle and so on. If you’re a little introverted or on the shy side, you might be reluctant to make the first move, so suggest meeting for coffee or a drink but it so often happens that, if we like them, the feeling is mutual. You’re new to the circle and making that overture, overcoming your reservations and reaching out to them, could go a long way towards breaking the ice. Daunting yes, but the risk of a knock-back is minimal, as all expats have been in the same situation at one time or another.

You own a dog:
Locate the poop scoop, attach the lead and head to the nearest park with Fido. It’s a universal fact that dog owners like to shoot the breeze, so there is every chance that both you and Fido will make new friends. You may start with a few pleasantries such as “What a cute Rottweiler you have there!” but from there a friendship can develop.

The workplace:
Consider the workplace as a good opportunity to cultivate friendships. As with most things in life, you can either wait to be approached or you could make the first move to get the ball rolling. As they say, faint-heart never won fair lady and the same would be true of friends. There’s always the possibility of a rebuff but people are generally more open to sincere overtures of friendship than we might realise. They could be waiting for you to make the first move and once that obstacle has been overcome, it could be plain sailing from there on in.

Shared interests:
If you don’t have a hobby as such, like most people you most likely have an interest or enjoy a particular activity. Once you have identified what you like to do you can set about finding like-minded people who share your interests. Whether you’re a keen gardener, an ace squash player or you enjoy a spell of bird watching, there’s a very good chance that you’ll be able to find fellow enthusiasts via social media or the local newspaper. If there’s a shop that caters for hobbyists like yourself, you could have a chat with the staff to find out if there’s group, society or other individuals in your area who enjoy the same pastime.

Learn a new language:
Learning a foreign language is a win-win decision. Firstly, if you can converse with the locals in their own language, you’ll find it helps knock down cultural barriers, opening the door to a much richer experience and the opportunity to integrate. And of course, by taking classes, you’ll have the opportunity to meet other expats, who like you, want to feel more at home in their adopted country. You could join one, they’re not difficult to find, and friendships could very easily develop from there.

You have nothing to lose but your chains:
Under certain circumstances anonymity can be a blessing. You’ve committed to your first pole-dancing class and, well…you’ve discovered that it’s not for you. You’ve lost nothing, your dignity is still intact and you could always try something else. Be daring, potential friends are out there just waiting to be discovered.

As they say, a stranger is just a friend that you haven’t met yet!